Art of Resistance

 

    In this episode we dive into the secret sauce of resistance and how it can be used as a strong building block to live an accomplished and fulfilled life.  Throughout the podcast we hash out some defining moments where we have used resistance to grow and overcome some significant challenges. We wrap things up by laying out the 3 layers of resistance which are 1. Start 2. Stretch 3. Increase. Go build that ladder one rung-one challenge at a time!

Marriage And Relationship Insurance

      In our second episode we tackle the topic of marriage and relationship insurance with the F word nation. Todays discussion revolves around how to pay your 50/50 marriage insurance premium by understanding and implementing your significant orthers love language. The episode is wrapped up by talking about how to sperate and adequately address your primary social relationship repsonsiblities. The Justifying the F Word Podscast is not available on Itunes and all other podcast formats. Link below!

Justifying The F Word Podcast Is Live

  

 After kicking the idea around for years my wife Megan and I have finally launched out podcast! We will be producing content on the weekly helping people ,"Justify the F Word" in the best way possible. The podcast will be available on all platforms (it may take a few weeks for them all to load the first time). This idea has been a passion of mine for years and although I have been spotty on my writing I hope you all enjoy our ramblings! Our first episode is on avoiding or overcoming the midlife crisis. 

Tales From The Road

Tales from the road….

I live in world of completely bizarre random occurrences; this is a fact of life that I have just had to accept. Somewhere along the way I pissed off the universal dealer of Entropy: defined as- lack of order or predictability and or the gradual decline to disorder. With the universe having a general chip on its shoulder about my life’s predictability, I have come to expect the random. So much so, that if things seem too normal I take it as a calm before the storm. I have never once questioned this as a theory; rather I have fully accepted this principle as a law. I do not intentionally put myself in situations where these events occur, they just happen. One day it’s a car driving through a wall at Quiznos and hitting my table and they next is a cracked out vet demanding I do push-ups in the aisle of an airplane (all of which have happened to me). Those around me have gotten great joy from the recounting of these experiences and asked me share these tails with the “F” word nation. If you think I am making these up, I will tell you all the same thing I tell my wife-watch the movie “Big Fish.” I remind her that just like at the end of the movie when they are at the funeral and the son learns his dad’s stories are all true, she will at my passing be privy to the same experience. I will be adding these stories in from time to time on this blog for the pure entertainment of our clan. May you get a good laugh and say to yourself, “man I am glad this did not happen to me.” So without further fanfair let me tell you what happened to me a few months back and why Mr. Sandman decided that sleep was not in the cards.

I like sleep, not kind of, not sort of, but I truly love it and therefore give it the proper respect it deserves.  I was the kid in college that if there was not a solid reason to be up past 11, I was in bed. I was mocked and ridiculed for my beliefs, but no amount of mockery or even noise for that matter would stop me from crawling into bed when the time seemed right (good night moon, good night Quinn). Now that there is a bit of pretense let me tell you how my last week unfolded. As stated before I have no issue staying up when there is something to do, and that something just so happed to be tearing the roof off and getting on the Mothership at a George Clinton and the Parliament Funkadelic  concert. My 3 week out from 40 body got down to some booty shaken funk for three straight hours. By the end of the show I was gassed tired and ready to go to bed. I knew full well that I would be up a 6 and life would go on. What I did not expect was how the rest of the week played out.

Knowing that I had to be 3.5 hours into Idaho early on Wednesday morning I decided to leave Tuesday night and drive most of the way there. Realizing I would only be in my room for a limited amount of time, I decided that I would save my company a few dollars and stay at the less expensive of the two options. The Motel was newly remolded and I thought, “Buddy you are a team player.” So after knocking out about 2.5 hours of my drive I arrived at my domicile of choice and set up camp for the night around 11:30 PM. Shortly after crawling into bed I heard someone speaking in Spanish outside my door, then speaking slowed  and that is when I noticed my door handle start to giggle. Was I shocked this was happening, absolutely not! As I mentioned above, randomness finds me and I have just come to accept it. But what I did not accept is when my amigo from south of the border began to bang on my door. I took this opportunity to express my discontent and exercise the shadier side of my vocabulary in both English and Spanish (Baxter, yes I speak Spanish). The banging on my door got to be absurd and at this point I was just pissed. In polite 1 am terms I called the front desk and asked for the cops and or security to come pay my fine knocking friend from south of the border a visit.  There was one last bang on my door, a yell from security and that ended by bi-lingual tirade. With all of that happening you can imagine I did not go straight off to slumber land. My late night visitor caused me to not really decompress and go night-night until around 4-ish.  Being that I had to be up a 6:00 it was a rough morning. That was day one.

The next day still confused and a bit pissed off at my late night visitor I got on the road and headed to my next destination. My mind raced all day in a caffeinated stupor with thoughts of sugar plumbs racing through my head or at least a solid desire to go back to bed. As the day came to end I settled in for a long winters nap. I closed my eyes and even laughed a bit to myself about how crazy the night before had been. The thought, “this shiz always seems to happen to me” crossed my mind then I was off to slumber land.

At this point in the story you may say, “that’s a peaceful end” or “how could lightning strike twice?”  This is the point where this story gets down right absurd. Let me paint the picture….. Me in bed……. Time 4 A.M…… Fire Alarm going off…… My eyes burned with sleep and mind screamed with confusion as I stumbled to grab my laptop bag and car keys. Emerging from my hotel room I noted that the hallway was full of exhausted and equally confused folks making their way down the stairs to the parking lot. It was bad enough I barely slept the night before, but being wakened by an alarm when one is in full hibernation mode is strait up cruel! The next hour and a half I sat with my head in my hands cursing my life and wondering what I had done to upset the universe in such a drastic manner. Like all suffering mercy was granted and I was able to crawl back into bed for 30 minutes of drastically needed sleep.

Looking back I can see the humor in the situation, but I can honestly tell you that this stuff seems to happen to me all the time. I guess in the end it makes for good story, and who does not enjoy a good story! Life is all about experiences, go out and justify it……… 

The Mental Wanderings of a Fat Kid in Spandex

A good friend of mine called me the other day to openly express to me his affinity for spandex and the bike that goes along with this sputnik space age material. His recounting of his stretchy short conversion was so money that I felt he needed to share his message with the F word nation. Enjoy the, “Mental Wanderings of a Fat Kid in Spandex!”

Growing up, I was one of those kids who wore “husky size” clothes—My grandmother (Nanny) taught me eat like a grown man in the summer of 1986—she was accustomed to cooking for a big family, and since I was out for the summer she encouraged me to eat like a big family. So, while I have always been a bit bigger than average, I have always been fairly active—I grew up cross country skiing, riding bikes, hiking, lifting weights, playing football, and baseball. As I turned into a teen ager I grew into my weight a bit-- not that I was ripped, but I looked less like Chunk from Goonies than in my formative years. While in college, I found open blocks in my schedule allowed me to go for jogs-- I really enjoyed jogging—it helped me clear my mind, get outside, organize my thoughts, allowed me to listen to music (yellow Walkman in a neoprene hip pack), and it kept me in pretty good shape during my party years. When I finished school my wife and I decided we needed a dog, so we got a 1 year old lab—I caution you on this move, buying a one year old lab into your home is like inviting a crack head who eats furniture into your life. In order to sleep, I needed to wear him out, so I took up running once again. It was a great way for my dog (who is now 15 and in dog years would have been born during Grover Cleveland administration). As I became a productive member of society—working more and traveling, I began running on a treadmill in gyms and more recently in hotels—which is not too rough on the joints but in my mind I’m basically in prison. Hotel exercise rooms are like janitor’s closets. When at a gym, I’m convinced the chest and arms (only) steroid guys in tank tops want to jump me in the shower, and the pretty girls with too much make up are actually skinny gender bending vatos. No judgment here, but involuntary shower love and trannys are NOT my jam.

Being a part of generation who is rapidly becoming not younger-- I have had to change many of my habits to compensate for the onset of my 30s crumbling in the rear view behind me. I can no longer consume mass amounts of pizza and chicken wings, party like a rock star, and participate in life the next day like it is not a problem. Truth be told, when I watch TV with my wife, I can no longer stay up past 9:30 without nodding off, jumping into a conversation I have no business participating in and making random statements about “Rowdy” Roddy Piper, how the government should be decentralized and how “I’m good … I’m not tired”.. but I digress. One big change for me, is I can’t jog outside anymore without feeling like I am living out some “Catholic guilt” driven penance for failing God.  Now days, while I’m jogging, I don’t get a runner’s high, I don’t appreciate being outside, I don’t have a sense of accomplishment about the miles I have covered… In fact, I spend most of the run praying that a meteorite will kill me, or Sasquatch will jump out of someone’s yard, tear me apart limb from limb and make the misery end. For a time, I loved running but as my body changed (additional weight and my joint’s ability to absorb a pounding) I have been forced to consider other options.

Some guys struggle with putting on mass, I do not—good and bad. I can add muscle pretty quickly, if I am not careful, just as easily I can grow man boobs and middle aged spread.  I currently stand 6’0” tall and I weigh 230 lbs-- according to a BMI index, I am morbidly obese and have failed society. Good news, I’m actually in decent shape, my waist is 36”. So stocky, but no longer husky. I am probably built to be a weight lifter (stocky and compact) I still do some strength training and I definitely see the value in this but I really like to be out and about doing cardio. Really, my mind is always firing on all cylinders, and anaerobic exercise is too stop and go for me to get my crap straight. Lifting weights feels like sitting in traffic on the 880 between Oakland and Berkeley at 4:30 on a Wednesday. Cardio, allows me to stretch it out and file all of my mental wanderings so I can function in society. While adding mass and lifting weights are some people’s goal, they are not mine. In fact, when I played baseball as a kid, I longed to track down balls hit to the gap like a graceful lanky center fielder—instead, being built like Chunk, I was a catcher. While making appropriately timed comments about opposing batters mother’s fidelity or lack thereof was fun, it was not fast or graceful. When running I have always been a plodder—short choppy strides (I am totally the jack hammer sounding guy on treadmills—I can’t help it) I have never been fast, just determined.

Recently, I moved to an area where there is a great road cycling scene, and this has been a revelation. I could go on all day about why road cycling is awesome, but I will give you my top 10 reasons why cycling is better than running:

1.   Stocky guys can be fast. Olympic sprinters can run like 25 MPH in short bursts; I have hit speeds in excess of 50 MHP coming down a good grade. Scary? Yes; but fast, and fun—just don’t wreck.
2.  You don’t beat up your joints like you do running. If you ride hard, you’ll know it—from your gootch to your quads and hammys it will burn but it’s good for you.
3. Bikes are cool. Don’t get me wrong, moisture wicking shorts and a pair of Saucony shoes are cool… I just lied to you, these things are not cool. Bikes are cool.
4. You can go a long ways in a reasonable amount of time, you can ride 35-40 miles in two and a half hours.  I can ride through other towns, the country, foothills, and the mountains in this amount of time. If I ran for 2.5 hours at some point I’m going to contemplate running head first into a bus.
5.  Spandex. This is a necessary part of being a cyclist, if you have the confidence to rock spandex in public there are not too many situations in life that should make you uncomfortable.
6. Family time. My kids don’t want to jog, but I can get them to go for a bike ride.
7. Variation. Mountain bikes, road bikes, beach cruisers—all good my friends.
8.  Cool accessories: helmets, glasses, gloves, clip in pedals, lights, tools.
9.  One of the only man and machine relationships that is healthy. You can power a machine and see the world, if you work hard and take care of your machine it will take you further than you might imagine going.
10. Climbing hills teach you that if you are slow and steady you can accomplish your goals.
11. Stay hydrated, bring some additional fuel, don’t wear ear buds on the road, use sun screen, be mechanically self-sufficient (spare tube, pump/C02, tire levers, multi tool), keep a light on the back of your bike, get a good mid-tempo song stuck in your head (I recommend the Golden State by John Doe or  The Way We Get By by Spoon). 

If you are a runner, honestly, good for you—I no longer am. But remember this, if a fat kid can grow up to rock spandex in public and climb some hills, so can you. Editors Note: I am a runner and I take great pride of making fun of our spandex biking brothers, but then again I wear the man spanxs when I pedal my bike so it all equals out! Have a great week and don't forget to do your part to justify the F word.

Be Savvy With Your Liquid.......

I love ice, almost to the point that a drink is not worth drinking if it’s above 38 degrees (that’s 3.33 degrees Celsius for those of you still using the antiquated metric system). The struggle for me has been real! Not only did I spend 2 years in South America consuming lukewarm Coke, but the ice maker on my freezer has a love hate relationship with me. The pure fact that ice does not enjoy staying in its solid phase of matter has all the more increased my personal beverage misery. Being that I am not one to settle, I set on a quest. Like an explorer of old searching for Eldorado, I set out on a quest to keep ice in a water bottle throughout the day.

As I started my journey, I heard rumblings that such a water bottle existed. My only fear is that overtime facts become stories, stories become myths, and myths become legends that become too good to be true. I mustered my faith, and sat down in front of the great oracle Amazon. The scene played out much like moment in “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.” As I scoured over my possible selections the line, “you must choose wisely” kept playing over and over in my head.  I may be slightly over dramatic in recounting this tale, but when parting with my coin I like to know I am getting what I am looking for. So I had it narrowed down to a few when I found this gem recommended to me by a fellow Justifier of the F Word http://www.liquidsavvy.com/ . Not only was this member of our middle aged tribe enjoying hours of near freezing hydration, he and his wife decided to start their own company with said goal in mind.

The selling point you ask? First and foremost the ability to keep ice! I drive around all day for work and really wanted to be able to keep cold water in my vehicle. The double walled metal bottles were rated to hold ice all day! This realization moved me to my core and made me question what kind of devil magic is infused within this carrier of hydration delight. What truly sold me above all others on the Liquid Savvy Bottle?  Here’s the answer…. Wait for it…… It comes with three different lids and has one of the best price points out there. Three lids you may ask? Why is that important you ask? I happen to have three little people that have infiltrated my house and excel at the destruction of my personal property. I have had numerous water bottles that they chewed through the cap, dropped, or lost a crucial component leaving the bottle worthless. That is why I was all over buying the Liquid Savvy bottle (3 lids at no extra charge… count me in.)

After senior Amazon prime showed up my door, I went to work seeing if it was everything it promised and I hoped it would be. My review you ask? Let’s add some earth science for perspective. If the last ice age occurred roughly 100,000 years ago during the Quaternary (part of the Pleistocene geologic period) I have one going on currently inside my Liquid Savvy bottle. That’s right, if we basically sealed the earth in the same material as this bottle is made of I would not have had to say adios to my ski season this past weekend.

Moral of the story, I have found being an F’er I get great joy out of the simple pleasures in life. Ice being in my water bottle 4 hours puts a smile on my face and almost makes up for the years of consuming beverages at room temperature. I know there are a lot of choices out there, but hook up the folks at Liquid Savvy. By purchasing one of these bottles you will no longer be part of the tepid drink problem, you will be part of the solution. Not only do the fine folks at Liquid Savvy “Justify the F Word,” but they have us one step closer to ending the global travesty that is the “lukewarm sip”. 

Oh, almost forgot…. If you want to keep you drink as piping hot as a pyroclastic cloud rolling off of Mount Vesuvius (ask the folks at Pompeii) it will do that as well. Stay classy and stay hydrated! The fine folks at Liquid Savvy have been so kind to offer a $5.00 off discount code to the F word nation through Amazon. So if you decide to pull the trigger put in “thefword” (leave out the quotes) in the discount box at checkout time. Buy a bottle and enjoy the goodness of ice, and support the fellow F’ers at Liquid Savvy!

Link to the 32oz bottle…..

http://www.amazon.com/Liquid-Savvys-Stainless-Insulated-Bottle/dp/B019PB88R6

Link to the 18oz bottle…..

http://www.amazon.com/Liquid-Savvys-Stainless-Insulated-Bottle/dp/B019PEGSN4

How do you cut an apple?

I recently had the opportunity to provide sales training at a regional meeting. For those of you that fall into the camp of “I’m more scared of public speaking than I am of DYING”, get ready for something that will blow your mind.  I have a disorder that some may deem masochistic….. (Ready for it?) I really enjoy getting up in front of people and presenting. I am sure this stems from my narcissistic alter ego as a musician, but none the less I love presenting and more so educating on topics that I feel strongly about.

Being that paying mortgage revolves around my ability to close a deal, I am extremely passionate about becoming better at what I do. I have read countless books and listened to hundreds of hours of sales training, so when the prospect came along to present I jumped at the opportunity. Just as it is important to justify the F word through finding fulfillment outside of work, it is equally as important to find that same fulfillment inside your chosen profession. I have had several friends ask me if I would share what I discussed in my training, so for those friends, and for those of you interested in sales, business, or negotiating, I will break down different concepts and share them over the next couple months. For those of you who couldn’t give two hairs off a dogs butt about Sales, these concepts will not only be beneficial for your work, but if properly applied the concepts presented will aid in all aspects of one’s life.

So, I propose the question…….. How do you cut an apple?

Simple question, right? Like the picture above, it is possible to cut an apple with a hammer and it is possible to cut that same apple with a scalpel. The difference in the two methods if easily noted in the amount of fruit retained in the end.  If you cut an apple with a hammer you end of with a smashed piece of fruit with very little left over to enjoy (pretty sure Gallagher has cornered that market, but then again we are talking apples and not watermelons).  Cut an apple with a scalpel and the amount of fruit you can share will be comparably on par with a biblical miracle.

Everything we engage in can be refined. Why I feel that the “apple” concept is so important is because as human beings, we have the tendency to learn how to complete a task by taking the easiest road possible. Once we basically know how to get down the road our growth and development for that task stops, thus we complete the task over and over by “cutting an apple” with a hammer. Why do we do this? The answer is-it’s easy, or, possibly because this is how everyone else around me does it. By using the “hammer” we are accomplishing the assigned task in a menial rudimentary manner.  To better describe this action ask yourself, “have you every fixed something with the wrong tool?” I have (on more occasions then I would like to admit) fixed things around the house by using the wrong tool for the wrong application. Have I accomplished the task I set out to complete? Yes, but by using the wrong tool the task took much longer than it should have, I end up reaching into the dark recesses of my vocabulary, scaring my kids, and typically break or damage something.  

The “apple” concept truly begins to become difficult when you realize there is a better way to cut the fruit that Jonny Appleseed planted. There is a cost involved in obtaining finer implements of precision, and the only person who can pay that cost is you. The question posed is, “are you willing to pay the price to find a scalpel?” Think about how many things in each of our lives, careers, health, and families we could refine. Ask yourself; “How many things in my life, career, health, and family am I cutting with a hammer?” If you are honest the length of that list may surprise you.  As you change the way you go about cutting the “apple” seek out those already who have a scalpel in hand. This can be done finding mentors or as simple as reading a book on the subject you are looking to refine. By surrounding yourself with red delicious or granny smith surgeons, your desire to go back to the hammer will border on the absurd.  There will be those along the way who will question what you are doing, or even mock you for your pursuits. Remember at the end of the day you choose to be better, and those choices have an immediate effect on you and your direct sphere of influence.

This concept to me is more important than ever. I am turning the “F” word in a little over a month, and have spent the last year trying to reach for the “scalpel” in every aspect of my life (with the exception of loose skin, not there yet).  The pursuit of changing how I “cut an apple” has had an effect on everything I do.  The result is, I am slowly becoming better at everything from the acceleration into my ski turns, closing rates at work, as well as challenging and refining my Dad skills.

Boiled down, I am gleaning more “fruit” and it’s delicious. There are mornings when my alarm goes off way too early and I reach for the hammer. I am in no means perfect or trying to claim that this easy. In fact it’s really hard, but doing things wrong or inefficiently will not make life any easier. In fact, it will really only just delay the pain.  The quest to become better at whom I am and what I do has yielded a sense of soul-busting contentment that was absent for a chunk of my 30’s. I am striving to avoid having another midlife crisis by filling my mind, soul, and life rather than trying to figure out what is missing. 

So there it is “F” word nation! Let’s spend our days creating glory years as opposed to trying to relive them. My challenge to you all is to spend this next week looking at how you cut an apple. Start with one area of your life and then move onto to the next.  F’ers I am looking forward to a grandioso manzana feast. 

Happy cutting…………


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